Ladies, if you haven't read Cunt: A Declaration of Independence I insist everyone of you go out and get a copy right away.

She stresses the important of writing your womanifesto..I could go into it deeper, but then you might not get the book.

It's 10:30pm right now...and I'm sitting at my  computer in my dark bedroom, the only one awake. Cory is gone, and the kids are sleeping soundly in the bed right next to me.
The bug has hit me to write my womanifesto, finally.
So here goes nothing.



Negativity
Self hatred
Depression
Glaring eyes
Whispered words
Backstabbing
Gossip
These are the enemies

Positivity
Love
Joy
Words of praise
Singing loudly where everyone can hear you
Hugs
Whispers of love
These are the weapons

Life is a war.
A fight to love yourself, and stay on top of the game.
Not the money game.
Not the game of love.
But the game of learning to accept yourself for who you truly are.

Am I going to take the punches and get right back in the ring, or am I going to cower in the corner and throw in the towel?
I always wanted to be that woman.
The strong woman with the boxing gloves on, the mouth guard in, covered in bright red blood, the sweaty pits and hair, and kick ass determination to seriously fuck anyone up who stood in my way.
So many times fear and insecurity turns me into the stupid little girl terrified her mother will find out she's been wiping her boogers on the wall again and sneaking biscuit dough while she's making dumplings for the soup.

When I think about it I get angry.
All the times in life when I could have stood up for myself, grown a backbone.
When that bastard wanted to touch me..I should've screamed.
When that woman constantly cut me down and told me I should use my money to join weight watchers..I should've screamed.
When they told me I was getting married too soon and I was making a mistake..I should've screamed.
When she tried to ruin my wedding day for me and make me feel like less of a person..I should've screamed.
When that man wanted to cut me open and pull my baby girl out..I should've screamed, and hit him straight in the mouth.
When she told me my pictures weren't good enough..I should've screamed.
When she laughed at my dream of opening a bakery someday...I should've screamed.

I want to be that woman.
I want to be that hardcore.
I want to love myself enough.

Instead of crouching down in my corner and holding it all in til it boils over and effects those I love the most, I want to come out swinging and screaming.

Instead of getting in one of my moods and blame it on the zodiac and my misfortune of being born a Cancer or the fact that my cycle is coming soon, I want to come out cussing and spitting.

So watch out, kids, cause I'm buying the most amazing hot pink boxing gloves I can find...fuck, I'll have little cupcakes embroidered on the top of each one...and I'm gonna start throwing punches.

I'm worth it.
I'm beautiful.
My children are stubborn, strong, and brilliant.
My husband is damn lucky.
My tofu is delicious.
My cupcakes are orgasmic.
My pictures are good enough.
I am not a puppet and I am not a slave.
I am a treasure and a goddess.
I don't belong in a dump of misery and self-pity.
I am worthy of love, happiness, and everything good.


Damn that felt good.